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Suspicious – poetic expression

‘Suspicious’ – what creates suspicion? What does it conjure in you? Like most things in life, there are many views. On the one hand suspicion can be a helpful thing, and in another moment it can be inhibiting.
Where does it arrive from? Our mind or our gut? What is it for you?
We hope you enjoy the poems.
These sessions provide the chance to express through writing, poems, or conversation. The word usually conjures so many powerful themes that we discuss throughout.
The word next week is ‘whistle’.
Hope to see you there.

My View

Dark shadows in the alleyway
A van conveniently on the corner
Call the police, I am a witness
Ignore the situation
After all it’s none of my business

As the sun rises, the van still there
Boxes being loaded in
Well, I do declare!
In broad daylight no less
Suspicious behaviour I must confess

Call the authorities or ignore?
Then I read on the van door
Party hire, prompt daily delivery
As I close the curtain

Am I becoming cautious?
Or just too suspicious


Choose Trust

Since I was a teenager,
my family started to warn me:
“We are worried about you.
You are too naive and trusting people,
that’s not good.
There are some bad people in this world,
can you be a bit cautious?
We don’t want you to be fooled.”
Well, many years later,
I am still that teenage girl.
It’s too hard for me to change my nature.
I found something good about my nature too.
Two years ago, I broke up.
One of the main reasons is that l felt there was always a distance between us.
He was not sharing his inner world with me.
He told me it was very difficult for him to trust people due to his previous unpleasant experiences,
even though he said I was an exception.
He said it didn’t take too long for him to trust me.
But I doubted,
I am afraid that deep in his subconsciousness,
he still couldn’t.
Very unfortunate.
That’s why from that moment,
I am glad that I don’t have a trusting issue,
and I started to realise that perhaps being too trusting is better than being paranoid.
For me, communication and connection are so crucial.
If I can’t trust people,
open my whole heart to others,
how can I expect others to do the same?
And how can we have deeper conversations,
to heal others and be healed at the same time?
If that means,
I might get hurt from time to time,
I would be willing to pay for the cost,
because living with a mask and having an invisible block every single day is just not my style at all. 
XZQ 28th August 23

Suspicious Spot

Just like that it appeared
Nothing unusual or so I thought
It was small and pimple like
Hardly visible
White and unassuming
Enough to catch my attention
And have a little fiddle
Taking off its tip
However reappearing after a bit
I’m not sure why
I began to chat about it
Why would I?
I’ve never chatted about such a spot
Perhaps I was unconsciously suspicious
Of what it was or was not
To the doctor though I went
He whisked it off
Believing it was all OK
Until the results came back
Ouch, this unassuming dot
Was not just a dot
A SCC squamous cell carcinoma
Not one to mess with
So straight to surgery it was
All is good now
But suffice to say
Follow your gut
When something comes up


Find the moment
Suspend the hurt
Forgive the doubt
See into my heart
In there you can settle
Warm with acceptance
Let your suspicious lips
Caress and taste
The inner peace
Of your true self
Where you share
Your intimate power
So that jealousy and envy
Will have no home
Grow and smile
Without limits
Find the moment
Suspend the hurt
Forgive the doubt
See into my heart
PJR    28.08.2023
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