Find Your Way, Part 7… The dots you join

Every one of us has been on a unique journey. 

Your circumstances and your lived experience, has helped you arrive at an understanding and a sense about life. It is part of your unique story.

No matter what has arrived for you, by virtue of where you were born, where and how you have lived, who has been of influence (parents, teachers, friends, family, employers, religious leaders, government leaders, community members) you have been impacted in some way. 

Every single moment forms threads that weave through you and into your life. 

And today we are also influenced by the images, messages and information (facts and opinions) from people known and unknown to us from all corners of the globe, through television, radio, the internet, social media and other platforms. 

Whether you consider the encounters helpful or not, they have all impacted the formation of your own views, feelings and actions. 

Where do you land?

Every choice you make, is likely to be influenced by what you have seen, heard or learnt. The way you eat, your lifestyle, your work, your pastimes, your views on life, your passions. 

Unbeknownst to you the beliefs, rules and learnings unconsciously lie within you and surface in your daily life habits. The clues can be found in the words, language, memories and stories and your opinions. 

By noticing what you are saying (out loud or to yourself) you may become more aware of how things in your past, are playing out in your life today.

You might hear the voice of others coming through. Some people are shocked to hear themselves say phrases or opinions of parents, or others of influence. 

Have you ever heard yourself saying or repeating in this way? What words are they? What was their attitude about smoking, exercise, life…? 

You may hear the voices in the stories that reflect memories or learnings that happened a long time in your past. You may not have challenged or healed your attachment to those story, even though your current life situation has changed. 

Perhaps someone who repeats the story about poverty that was experienced in the past despite having moved on to be in a comfortable financial position. Or a person who neglected themselves as they took on the caring role for a loved one, and continues to not care for themselves despite no longer in that role.  

You might hear the opinions, beliefs and rules you hold about yourself, others, the world the world around you. The ‘I should, they should, it should’ voices. You may not have realised that those ‘should’s’ may no longer be relevant or reflect your current beliefs and way of seeing.  

Instead, you might continue with views that are consistent with people or role models in the past and not considered whether they reflect your views today about life, self care, happiness and facts about the world. 

Listen to yourself. What do you notice? Where are the voices coming from? How do you feel about them?

Bits you are joining 

So when you find yourself in moments or situations facing a dilemma or strong, difficult feelings (frustration, anger, harmful) it might be helpful to notice what ‘evidence’ you are pulling together and what things are being left out. The words, stories, opinions, rules or beliefs.

When I was younger, I chose pathways that reinforced cultural aspects around what it meant to be a ‘good wife’. My ‘beliefs’ told me so. 

It seems the many voices you collect along the way begin to jump out at once, leading to a ‘piling’ effect. While you may not realise, those voices have been whispering to you in the background for the whole of your life and when needed, their volume is turned up. Anything that aligns with that message, secures the belief and reinforces the fears. 

The voices sound real and logical, even though something inside may not sit well. This is the voice of the ‘ego’; it is your mind’s version of you. 

When we experience any pain, emotional or physical or other pain, the mind provides a story about it, and we begin to engage that story. 

Often the stories we tell, leads us to feeling anxious with worry, with our body in a heavy, agitated or ruffled state. In those moments, we are unable to pull out (or see) other facts that may lessen this intensity. Instead we pull together more evidence to support the story.

Recall a dilemma you have faced. What voices came through during that time? Where did those voices come from? How did it feel? 

Your patterns  

The assimilation of these voices are kept alive by the range of behaviour patterns you have adopted. 

When you begin to notice them, you may become more open and curious to investigate them further. 

I’m not sure where it came from however my pattern of pleasing, seemed present since the time I was born (I feel it was there as I entered the world!). Any way it meant that rather than telling people how I was feeling, I bypassed my own needs. Perhaps as a way to gain peace or in fear of anger or hurting someone’s feelings.
 
This pattern affected my relationships, because I did not address the pain I was feeling on the inside. 

During COVID in 2020, I discovered another of my patterns.   

As part of our events calendar during COVID, we approached Robyn Palmer to conduct some sessions to share her wisdom on environmental matters. It was there when I discovered what was holding me back from taking helpful action to support the environment. 
In the past I believed I couldn’t make a difference. What could my small part do in terms of helping the world? I easily swayed myself to not take action. However, as Robyn filled the gaps with up to date information and facts, I could see the importance of the accumulative effect from all small actions. 
I could see that my actions mattered. It triggered a shift in who I purchased from, what I purchased and the way I recycled, reused and repurposed. 
I realised how seeking this accurate information helped me to break inaccurate beliefs and move to more helpful actions. 

No matter what beliefs, what upbringing, what profession, when you see something different, there becomes an opportunity for new ripples, new directions. 

Think back to situations in your life, where you noticed some of your own common patterns. 

Just recently I read about a UK economist Gary Stevenson, who grew up in a poor family, and later made a lot of money in finance. His experience had him see things differently and later redirected his energy to become what he calls ‘the people’s economist’ where he now shares the economic reasoning for how to bring more wealth equality to people.  

How prepared are you to do things differently when you discover something else?

A bit plus a bit does not equal the whole 

It is never obvious to see the hidden beliefs and patterns that you are and have been carrying around and repeating for a good part of your life. Nor is it clear, the impact and ripple effect of these on yourself, others or the world. 

So what can help you to ‘see yourself’ so you can choose differently and not get in the way of yourself? 

While there is no one way for this, it could be helpful to keep this phrase close by ‘a bit plus a bit does not equal the whole’. This may be enough to ‘keep the door slightly ajar’ in the first instances.   

Let’s face it, we have rarely been informed of the whole truth. Sometimes this has been intentional. 

For example when I was at school, I learnt about Australian History from the time of settlement. I was not aware of what existed for indigenous people and their culture before 1850. This history avoided telling the whole story, which was how it affected indigenous people, how they were treated and how their lives were destroyed. I am so grateful that people from this indigenous culture have shared their insights and beliefs through the artwork, stories, rituals that are still being passed down through generations. 

This was not only common in Australia. I am learning how the voice of many greats in our history such as Leonardo DaVinci and many others, were also not considered in the historical accounts. Fortunately these artists, authors, playwrights, poets and scientists, disclosed their views using other subtle means through their art. This has helped us to better understand and appreciate much broader perspectives about life during those times. Imagine the world without the input of these greats! 

Even religions have not told us the full picture because in many instances, the writings came many years after the death of the messiahs who brought the messages, from those in positions of wealth and power. Their interpretations influenced the stories told. So what was told and what was left out? 

We are now seeing people such as Jim Palmer, a former minister of the church, bringing his view on the life of Jesus and the simplicity of the message, not as a structured religion, rather as a way of living in the spirit of love.  

Because at any one moment in time, millions of things are happening at once… things, perspectives and versions. So which of those are we using as our own reality? 

Hence as we gather more information, it can help us arrive at something that brings a broader and fuller picture, which may align more closely with us. 

Gaining a broader perspective

If we are to learn from history, it’s not about ‘sugar coating’ what others want us to hear… it is about saying it as it is. It is not just hearing the stories told by a few who have chosen what they want to express. 

It is about hearing from all people with different perspectives to help shine a light on the whole picture. From this, you can draw from more when you are looking to feel your way, your path. 

In February 2026, we left Australia to do our work from Italy. It was a way for me to continue my learning of the language and connecting further with family. 

Two weeks into our arrival, the Middle East War began. 

It came at a time when many stories were bandied around. It was difficult to discern what was valid, what was ‘fake news’. It became clear that there were many versions told due to different ‘dots’ being used to arrive at answers. What airlines were doing, what leaders around the world were doing, what images were being shown, what facts were being shown, where the evidence was coming from.  
Over time, the biases and sources of information were becoming clearer. In time, we turned to a variety of more independent sources to gather our own ‘dots’ / evidence to support our decisions in relation to travelling home.
 We arrived at choosing an alternative carrier to transport us home that didn’t stop in the Middle East. The erratic behaviours of the leaders involved, brought a level of uncertainty that helped us arrive at this decision.   
  
These times are showing us how important it is to broaden our questions and our sources, so we get a more balanced view of the events. If not we may find ourselves run by the biases that we are exposed to. We may never arrive at choices that are based from broader truths, which may lead us to face unnecessary risks.  

Think about a time when you looked into something a little more deeply and you discovered something else. How did it change your perception of things? How did it affect your actions? Your words? Your life? 

Filling the gaps

So how do you find the way to a truth that is not biased or influenced by imbalanced stories, beliefs and opinions? 
 
How can you when there are so many possibilities that can influence you and affect your next steps? 

And when much of what we hear are non truths, that we base our ‘truth’ on. 

How can we when we are have so many voices being shared? 

The answer lies in not ‘trying’ to work it out in the usual way (it’s too complex, layered, biased) to arrive at. 

When I’ve tried to sort out with someone close, getting to the bottom of it, is laden, with he said, she said, that has already been reshaped into new versions that hardly seem recognisable. I was once told I called someone a liar. I couldn’t recall saying it. I later learnt I had actually said ‘tell me honestly what was happening’. In their eyes, this insinuated that I was calling them a liar. 

Unfortunately we usually don’t have the time or want to get to the core of such matters. It is unlikely you can ever get to the whole story, so things can become complicated, confused and untrue at some point. What’s more it can overwhelm you and keep you in the battle. 

So if we are to heal and resolve such things, it is about looking at ways that can make a difference, so we don’t end up falling in the same patterns over and again.  

So how can things that were once hidden, become more transparent?  

Interestingly, we are beginning to see the hidden emerge… with examples such as exposing the Epstein Files, which is leading governments in countries such as Poland, wanting to get to the core to better understand how things happened. They feel to prevent such action in the future, it is important to no longer hide, cover up or protect it. 

So how do things become more transparent? How do we shift from the current patterns and trajectory in which we are headed as a human race? 

As we learn more about how we have evolved, you may begin to see how we have moved away from our whole selves, our HMBS. With the way our mind has evolved and taken charge, we have lost the overall balance and connection to our hearts, body and spirit.  

The next sessions will help us to see how his has happened, and how it has affected the direction of everything that exists in our lives today.