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A great night, with a few personal poems to begin: Peter, Lesly, Tricia and then the group prose of a wonderful discussion…
Peace. 9.02.2021Within the forest of my mind
I tread unsure of what I’ll find
Feelings clash and fly around
The winds of emotions crashing down.My thoughts scamper like dead leaves
Rustling scuttling on the breeze
The canopy above a solid shroud
Not letting in any outside sound.No light penetrates my fog of gloom
My tree of life of life whispers songs of doom
The trunk solid strong and stout
Hiding my shadows of self-doubt.Careful of where I’m stepping
Avoiding twisted roots so deceiving
My pathway seemingly endless
Leaving me distraught and senseless.Tasting conflicts sour and disgusting
Smelling turmoils foul and wrenching
Leaves me lost in distortions
Losing all sense of proportions.Sliding perilously down a slippery slope
I catch my fall on a branch of hope
Holding fast I stop my flight
Giving me pause it’s time to fight.I force my way up and out
Leaving the forest of self-doubt
Picturing sun filled open meadows
Full of light no more shadows.The warmth of the sun drenched sky
Opening up my heart letting me cry
Tears run and flow a river down my cheeks
My breathing ragged, chest heaving, no longer weak.Joy and happiness rise and fly
Released to forge a strong reply
My time to feast now on a new accord
Embrace my new path, my new reward.Using my strengths to turn the tide
Bravery, hope, fairness and love be my guide
For in this life we have each other
My power rests in the peace I can discover.PEACE
Oh! for a little peace and quiet,
The peace and tranquillity of the morning light.
When raising a family a Mother needs peace,
Teachers try to bring a little peace to the class room.
Is there peace after a stressful day?
When studying peace and quiet is also needed
.
Peace treaties are signed after war.Oh for a stressful free life and to give peace of mind.
LMol
Peace
Why can’t there be peace?
Or is there?
What is peace?
Peace – a moment of nothingness.A mind silent,
A world silent,
No distraction,
No force.Not your way, not mine,
Surrender to what is,
To feel the nature of existence,
No need for more.But can we, that’s the question,
In amongst the noise,
The petty, the small,
The tall?We say it’s peace we want,
But is it?
Or is it to win?
To have our way?To gloat / float?
Stamp / ramp?
Force / discourse?
Fool / Pool?And move further away,
From where it lies,
All around us,
Within our reach.Yet hidden from,
our own eyes,
Elusive yet possible,
With just a breath,
Reconnected,
When we realise… we can.TLab
Peace 15th February
So many words around peace
Peace of mind
If you get lost in your mind,
You get lost in the proportions,
You may not find the peace….There are things that may get in the way…
may need a lot from yourself to reach it…There is always conflict within
When we release it we can find peaceSo where do I find peace…
some say peace is silence…When there is no noise no ambience – it is uncomfortable…. you can hear your own blood
Will there ever be peace for all…..
If there is a winner then there is a loser,
Can there be a search for inner peace so it is available to all…
Japanese gardens can help you feel at peace…
I need nature to feel peace…
peace comes from within…Even when I am not in a peaceful place…
natural feeling of peace is within…Doing what feels good can create peace within…
Once something is fixed you can feel peace afterwards
Or you can have pain and peace sit side by side…
All emotions live together – and in that is peace too….
Peace can be a relief
Listening to poetry can bring a feeling of peace…
You can find peace in the country… the silence
Phospheressence by Julia Baird, the natural noise – for wellbeing for peace…
The peace of silence…. stillness, the natural sound – of birds
Peace… is being comfortable,
Finding peace when settled…
peace when running… it’s a rhythmRocking a baby can bring a rhythm of peace
We all have our own word to describe the peace
V the sign of peace
V day, victory daySilence can be noisy…
Silence may not always bring peace,
blocking out harsh noise to hear the natural noise, then blocking out the natural noise to find the silenceSilence to see, to see the bees,
To see what you may not see when there is noise.As John Lennon said, ‘give peace a chance ‘
Habits
Thanks Nigel and Peter for your poems…firstly Nigel
What are habits?
habits we do
habits we wear
good habits
bad habitsthings we do often
without thinking or pause
without feeling or causecan we stop them?
what if we did?
the bad ones I mean…if they harm us or others
can we admit?
can we let them go?if we did
they would no longer be
a habit within me(NRS)
And thanks Peter…
Habits.Settle down you lot,
Many of you I forgot.
We need to have a meeting,
As it’s clarity I’m seeking.I’m aware of so many of you
And for that care, I thank you.
No questions of your intentions,
You release me from my tensions.Some of you are in my core,
Or returning unwelcome from before.
Others are brand new,
Thankfully they are few.So now is the time
When I draw a line,
Good habits line up on my right,
On my left bad habits don’t fight.Born together, aware of others,
You are my inner brothers,
Deeply ingrained, colliding in my space,
It’s time to give you all a face.I need to hear from each of you
Tell me your stories and be true,
I don’t want any disputes,
I only want your attributes.From the moment I awake,
You both strive to partake
In my drive to survive,
Another day staying alive.I’ve listened and accepted
Both sides seem to be connected,
Not the whole of who I can be,
Only a part of becoming me.PJR 8.02.2021
And now for the session outcome… just wonderful.
A cow with OCD?Good habits shape your life
There are some good and there are some bad
What’s a good habit and what’s bad
Habits change when you move from one place to another
Lots of habits to carry out the day….
Rituals for the day
Patterns for the day –
Habit or OCD
What is the difference
Is an OCD an overdeveloped habit
Uncontrolled habit is that an OCD
Unconscious habit
When habits become rituals it feels an OCD
Habits that get out of control can be a problem
Routine or habit
Tram – a routine
Catching the tram is the routine
Routine is more conscious – choosing it as part of your flow
Habit when its unconscious – don’t need to think about it
To make them conscious recognize them and give them a face…
Sometimes I’m not aware that i was doing it…
To notice means you can choose something differently
Before it becomes a habit
Habits are difficult to break
Some habits are comforting
Like twirling my hair
What is that…
It’s sensory… it feels good – it feels safe…
Habits that feel comforting
Familiarity… safety
Nuns wear a habit… why call it a habit…
A nun’s habit is a sign of poverty…. same outfit
Harmful habits
Smoking can harm us and others… and the environment
It may be something we’ve done for years, before we knew it was harmful…
As we become more aware…
Break the habit…
Can we?
Can we break the habit?
Is it laziness, is it awareness, is it belief,
People take more notice of Facebook post than a scientific piece…
global warming – waste management
It can be
DamagingBe firm with your habits…
If not they can
Habits are you servants…
They either work for you or against you
Are we becoming servants of our habits
Or our habits our servants…
How can we change habits of mind…
Those habits can be destructive…
Habit of negative thoughts
Can you change mental habits…
Train your self talk to change habits of talk…
Habits of mind can create things…
Animals are creatures of habit…
Cows will go to be milked the same time every day…
Cows know they have food waiting… they know how to survive…
Birds waken the same time
What drives that?
They sense the same time each day…
It’s not seasons… it’s a knowing
Habits as innate knowings…
How lovely – magpies visit same time each day… now they come for food, they are creating habits.
What do you feed the birds… seeds (thanks Lesly)
Our ability to change habits plays a role in our survival on the planet …
Aa1st February 2021
thanks everyone, for the topic on decisions.
thank you Kay, for your written expression that helped many of us…
thank you Peter, another wonderful poem.
Decisions, Decisions, Decisions.Time to consider my position
Before I make my decision.
To draw up my actions
That will be a map of my reactions.A pause for introspection
Looking for some direction,
A chance for more choices,
Options from other voices.Firmness in sticking to my purpose
Delving deeper under the surface.
Seeking, deliberating, determining
A resolution from persevering.Strengthening my resolve
To keep to my goals.
Accepting, acknowledging, my fallibility
Being persistent with my certainty.Feelings and emotions digested
Thoughts diagnosed injected.
Finding the right directives,
Objective or subjective in perspective.Positive and negative outcomes weighed,
My future course will be layered and made.
If my decision is Yes, No or Maybe,
This mystery will be left to history.PJR 22.01.2021
And now for the expression from the session…
Maybe is a time based concept… is maybe a decision?
If you don’t make a decision – the decision may be made for you
If you don’t make it in time… you may not ever get the chance to choose
Maybe is a holding pattern…
It is time based…
It can be valuable or it might not be…
Nigel at the Colonel Light, at Light Square looking towards Montefiore Hill..
All about the squares….
Victoria Square and Whitmore Square… yes that’s cafe outside the square!!
That was Nigel’s decision – people may need to think outside the square… to make decisions…
It’s the uncertainty of what the decisions bring…
In organisations it’s about opportunity costs…
If you choose A you can’t choose B, therefore there is a gain, there is a cost…
There may be a risk either way…
Choose with your heart… following your heart…
The heart has an emotional attachment…
the mind comes up with too many possibilities,People don’t expect you to use your heart in business…
they may say naive but is it…The two can work together… the head and the heart…
The consequences…
Is this the right thing for me…
Hard when you know it may let someone else down…
Make a choice that helps you in life in some way…
Don’t let it destroy you… the stewing
Making decisions for others instead of yourself – can be negative…
The outcome of choices that you feel is a wrong choice… when you don’t let go… can lead to regret…
Sometimes we are stuck with our choices… and please be with it until you can make another decision down the track…
Accept we sometimes make decisions, that we can’t turn back…
Within a decision are other decisions and choices that can make the first decision feel not so bad…
When emotional intelligence is low… sometimes it can affect choices
Growing and expressing and learning can always happen at another time… there is hope
You can actually go back on your decision – when your heart was burning for something different – thanks Kay for the stroy
Not the choice of others… yours – it’s not about them.
When you act on it – it feels euphoric – so good to have made the decision…
Be happy and confident with your choices…
When we are at a ‘cross’ road… let’s change it to a ‘happy’ road
Aa18th January 2021
the topic of listening… thank you Peter, another beautiful and meaningful poem…Listen
To lose your mind and all you know
Listen to your senses let them flow
It’s to open up so you can grow
All around nature calls out to you
Sharing their voices of endless beauty
To lose your mind and all you know
Creates your inner voice
Let it be the music of your choice
It’s to open up so you can grow
Follow the sounds in your heart
For in that world you can start
To lose your mind and all you know
So that silence is greeted as a friend
Not feared or filled with imagined dread
It’s to open up so you can grow
Listen with your whole body
So you can connect with anybody
To lose your mind and all you know
It’s to open up so you can growNow for the expression from the whole group on the evening… WOW! just amazing how much richness is expressed.
We can listen in silence
Many people are afraid of silence
They don’t like to have the silence
They fill the spaces…Silence in your own mind…
Don’t fear not having a thought…
We somehow feel comfortable to be busy… we wan to have a solution in our mind…Sometimes we just want to empty our mind…
To be comfortable in silence
Why is it so hard?
Can we let thoughts flow through us…
Holding a scene in silence as an actor, is a sign of a good actor
Depth of silence – how powerful
Just sit and let it be
No clues in silence… Agh! we want clues –
Human want to know…
Writing while listening can capture the essence but do you? if you are writing while someone is speaking – can you really capture it?
Can you listen, really hear when you are distracted by doing other things like writing ?
When you listen you are paying attention ?
To listen is to listen with your heart
I’m sensing what is being said…
I can sense tone, expression, feel the intention,
It’s not what is said… it’s what is being felt, what do they mean?
Silence gives people the space to express… slowly –
That is kindness – giving people the time.
Sometimes I don’t say something because I don’t want to waste people’s time.
We can’t rush it!
people need to speak in their own time,
Don’t fill the gaps for people… don’t repeat the question, don’t jump in…
People just want the space…
I learn a lot through listening – because I wouldn’t otherwise know or have the opportunity to learn.
Sometimes it takes a while to get a message out,
The meaning of the message can be in the response it gets… how others receive it.
What you say brings things, you don’t even know are there.
Listening is delicate… the more in rapport, the closer you get to the edge of their meaning….
You can’t get it all in a small disclosure…
How often do we switch off and not got any part of the message….
Often we are in our minds – listening to that so we can’t listen to others…
Frontline… make fun of current affair with listening as nodding – now that’s listening – haha… I’m nodding now!
Listen with whole body…
With the eyes, the eyes tell you what state they are in when they listening
Look into the eyes… some people feel uncomfortable to do it…
When i talk i don’t look at people –
How do you listen to yourself? I look up…
The eyes are a give away…
The eyes are the gateway to the soul….
How you look into the eyes makes a difference
Eyes that flutter may mean something – Oh no! My eyes flutter….
The voice… a clue to what is being said…
Can you hear it? What do you hear…
AaSoul connection 11th January 2021
Thank you Peter, an amazing poem on soul connection: Here it is:The beauty of a soul connection
They lay entwined, asleep.
Warmth of their contentment deep
Serenity, comfort, at peace
Thoughts, emotions finding release.
The love they are sharing
Is beyond just simply caring.When alone each is insecure
When together feelings come true.
No jagged edges to be smoothed
All doubts and fears are removed.
Vulnerability, differences laid open
Wounds, memories, trust spoken.Needs, wants, unfulfilled expectations
No reason for explanations.
Accepting words of self-loathing
Deep down a mutual understanding.
Tears, turmoil, survival
Forgiveness that has no rival.Like water freezing in high winds grow
Twisted together, threads just so
Combining, unified in oneness
Soul mates in natures’ closeness.
So is the power of our connecting with another
Enjoying the warmth and beauty of each other.Soul connection, a summary of the expression from the group on 11 January, 2021
Thanks Kay, sharing your story of caring… true caring from the soul…
Soul connection
Peter your poem on soul connection is moving…
What is the soul connection?
You just merge into one…
there is an understanding… deep understandingWe often move from the vulnerability
Yet as soul mates we just fit…
There’s a trust… emotional sharing and giving
No questions…Women having coffee together – the rapport of 2 individuals as one…
Safety in giving and sharing…
Soul connection – it’s an inner knowing – a pull
It just there…
This power of soul is bigger than the usual rules…
Intuitive and inner knowing
An ease with it…
It’s a comfort – it’s not trying – it’s just there.
No working at it…
It’s not about being polite, you just want it and feel it..
At peace…
For some it’s hard.
“I have trouble trusting and putting myself out there. There’s turmoil with walls around me… I put up a happy face, but that is not what I’m really feeling….”
Can you find your soul mate… when you’ve been let down…
My daughter is my soul mate…
It’s wonderful to have that with someone…
She is a beautiful soul…
Because she attracts anybody, animals…
What is that?
Is that energy – an energy of acceptance…
A depth of accepting of who you are, draws others in…
They love humanity… and people and animals know.
A oneness… a connection.
Addicted to life….
Drawn to something…
What is the soul…
The expression – I sold my soul to the devil…
Given the self away for something in return…
The soul – the spiritual or immaterial part of the person or animal considered to be immortal…
The religious side… the soul goes back to the universe…
Past lives… the soul returns…
It’s great to have a purpose for living…
Souls have a reason to be all they are in this life…
The soul is important and cared for…
The matrix – it’s about purpose
Soulful, expressing soulful feelings…
Monday 14th December Wind…
We had a couple of poems written this week, and drew upon Bob Dylan’s word around ‘The answer my friend, is blowing in the wind, the answer is blowing in the wind’. Here is our group creation, followed by the other poems and lyrics…the wind
Thanks Peter for the poem about the wind
So much that wind brings
The senses the taste fo the wind, the smell the feel
It brings so much in its silence
It brings emotion it brings memories
It reminds me of a time in a small plane
Remember the turbulence
We all remember one of those
Bob Dylan’s words about the wind
It helped me wonder… just like the wind
Bob Dylan.. people not seeing.. just like the wind…
Change is in the wind
Change is constant
The wind… it has power
Renewable energy… it’s doing good things
It has purpose…
Nature – the wind is passin through… Thanks Kay
When there is no wind – it is so still
Playing tennis… it really affects my serve!
Without wind you can’t sail…
The wind can affect my game…
The wind can be annoying…
Riding into a head wind… I like to tack the wind…
Fire and wind….
Earth Wind and Fire…
The elements ….
I don’t like gusty windy days… it gives me asthma…
With dust pollen
Wind a friend or a foe…
The fire storm feasted on the wind… thanks Peter for these words…
Marilyn Monroe and the candle in the wind…
The wind Marilyn’s signature…
Is there such thing as horizontal rain?
The wind if strong enough – it can be horizontal rain….
Westerly come in horizontal…
Sand storms too, damage by the wind
Sand can get in anywhere…
The wind seems to have a mind of its own…Para sailing and hang gliders… the wind is great… but what happens when the wind fails you
The weather is something you have no control over.. the wind is part of the weather… and it can let us down…
Wind – pressure….have you ever had wind…
Bob Dylan, ‘Blowing in the wind’
How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man?
How many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand?
Yes, ‘n’ how many times must the cannon balls fly
Before they’re forever banned?
The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind
The answer is blowin’ in the wind
Yes, ‘n’ how many years can a mountain exist
Before it is washed to the sea?
Yes, ‘n’ how many years can some people exist
Before they’re allowed to be free?
Yes, ‘n’ how many times can a man turn his head
And pretend that he just doesn’t see?
The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind
The answer is blowin’ in the wind
Yes, ‘n’ how many times must…Tricia’s poem…
The wind of change…
difficult to hear
The swirl,
Exposed to the unknown
the fear…The stir in us… but
I love stillness,
I feel the build up
To what…
To life – the energy of realityBlown away
To where
To where I need to go
To flow and dance
With what is
To the mystery of letting goFeel it, revel in it, let it take me to the outskirts
The horizon of life
breathe out, blow it out
Like a candle in the wind…The future… 7th December – Thanks Peter, Pip, Lesly, Nigel…
The future – breaking up by Billie (lyrics at end)
Billie Eillish is looking to the future
Her future self
Are we always looking to the future,
It’s the only direction we have to move
The future is the only place that we can engage in
The future is where the hope is…
Leo Tolstoy Future love does not exist – love is a present activity only.
The man who does not manifest love Int he present has not love.
Triggers in the now – take us to the past…
So what is the future – it is a dream…
What is the moment – a state
A flow – like when you write
An idea turns into something
Where it’s not yours any more – it’s totally in the moment
Planning as a future – when the future arrives
You may miss it…
Future is planning…
future is sensing…
Future is an oppourtunity
How do we balance planing the future and living the moment?
Going with the flow –
It’s circular
It’s a bit of the past and a bit of the future
Being aware that I’m not in my moment reminds me to do some mindfulness
Takes me to now…
Time in non linear – it’s circular
We’re always trying to sort time…
Why is that?
Language shapes your reality
And language is linear…
Indigenous language has no right or left,
Yet they know what direction they are facing
Breaking the cycle of linear….
To communicate and translate
The language people use in poetry
Is the power…
The expression…
The language
The metaphor
The story
To write and express is for yourself…
What ever you want to say that’s OK
pip mentioned Arrival
How many movies are there that mess with past to change the future…
Especially science fiction..
Do we really think we have any control of the future?
Leslie went off for a minute thinking about the future… and the past
Busy day, a foot massage…
Not the feet!!
Now’s she’s pooped and missed the moment
Having a dream for the future has kept Lesly going
In Covid we looked forward to the future to cope with the present…
Dreams are reliving a past thought and memory
Wants and needs can drive the future
Is it possible to live in the now?
Is the now a reality? Interstellar! Agh….
Writing in poetry can bring the now…
The now is not the future… it’s a state …
The patterns of going to the future
Getting into a state – can be good because it feels good and the moments in the future can be recalled
Meyer quote – you remember how people make you feel
I can be sad in the moment and cry About it
The future i can talk about the sadness but I don’t feel it the same way…
Pain… we are blessed that pain doesn’t stick with us
The moment is the breath between the past and the future
All we have is a breath…
Lyrics
My Future
Billie Eilish
I can’t seem to focus
And you don’t seem to notice
I’m not here
I’m just a mirror
You check your complexion
To find your reflection’s all alone
I had to go
Can’t you hear me?
I’m not comin’ home
Do you understand?
I’ve changed my plans
‘Cause I, I’m in love
With my future
Can’t wait to meet her
And I, I’m in love
But not with anybody else
Just wanna get to know myself
I know supposedly I’m lonely now (lonely now)
Know I’m supposed to be unhappy
Without someone (someone)
But aren’t I someone? (Aren’t I someone? Yeah)
I’d (I’d) like to be your answer (be your answer)
‘Cause you’re so handsome (You’re so handsome)
[Pre-Chorus]
But I know better
Than to drive you home
‘Cause you’d invite me in
And I’d be yours againThe Crown… 30th November 2020
Wow Kay love the tiara…
Gloves pearls and all…
that is very elegant.Royalty monarchy the crown…
Her majesty OK Kay…
I would not like to be born into royalty…
Pomp and ceremony
They don’t show emotions –
The queen mother does, she smiles and shows emotions
She shows her humanity
Can the queen be real… or be all she really is when she has such a public image?
Margaret was second in line and that may have been a good thing.
Royalty – people who belong to a king and queen
Nobility…how much power does the queen have…
Is she ruled by parliament?The interest around queens
Mary Queen of Scotts
The Crown the symbol of power
The gems – the emeralds
Expression – we were treated like royalty
After watching the crown it would be good if Australia becomes a republic
Is it an obsolete phenomena?
There’s so much inequality… wealth in just a few.
Yet it may have kept things stable in parliant
Thank you Nigel the Japanese Gardens
Now that looks noble…
the crown, the Netflix series, the casino, the crown chakra….
The direct line to wisdom?
The tradition of the monarchy
The celebrity status of the royals
The paparazzi… they can’t seem to escape it
Princess Di was concerned with people…
she may not have met the pomp and ceremony…She was more about the people…
The headlines… all around the royals
The infatuation…
the media.Princess Mary of Denmark…
A fantasy…
A fantasy wedding… Pip watched it at 8 years of age!!! videoed it… VHS
It’s like Disney
We believe in the fairy tale…
Frozen… Elsa becomes queen. That was a big moment for Disney.
Fiona becomes queen in Shrek…
Royals now can have love matches… not just who is in line…
Arranged marriages – where there is no love…
Boundaries changing… scandals – affairs…
Any publicity is publicity… Donald Trump Aghhhh
Netflix – it s a whole new world
Isn’t that a song…
It is not Queen Elisabeth Hospital – it’s the Calvary
No crown there…but we hope Kay gets treated like a queen tomorrow at the Calvary…
23rd November – 3 days into lockdown and then told we can come out of it… a roller coaster of emotions…
Here it is… the topic ‘Feelings’
FeelingsI just want to express feelings just as they are
I actually felt relief with lockdown because it brought me a break
Initially…
It was time for a pause – that’s helped me –
I was anxious…
We had done so well with coronavirus and then the fear of what was ahead…
Panic buying…
Tension in the air…
The fear of is too quick to return to ‘normal’?
We had adjusted – then we had to switch –
We just did it though – we’re adjusting quicker
We’ve done it well in Adelaide
it’s nice to express
It’s good to express for our health
If we express it, we get the chance to see it for what it is –
We can then look at it for what it is…
Vietnam war memorial – thanks Nigel for your roving reporting
Remember the feeling about what the troops and what they felt
And then there’s Afghanistan
What was happening there? In Afghanistan…
Many acts that we now know weren’t good – that’s created many challenging feelings –
The cover up…
Non expression
What do people do with feelings that can’t be expressed
No-one likes a whistle blower
It takes courage to speak up when there are things that need to be expressed…
Can you say this is wrong because that’s what you feel and then be treated unjustly?
If we suppress our emotions it can cause grief…
It’s not always easy to express – culturally it may be challenging
On social media about expression for mental health
And that can help
Demystifying males and expression and toxic masculinity
Modelling can be the way…
Our politicians are not transparent – is it time for honesty…
Have you seen the Crown on Netflix?
The queen was told to be a bit more human and from the heart…
yes even the queen…
Make it personal
It’s time to really connect
That’s what really counts
That feels great… sincere…
It’s good to be honest
Kay’s OCD so dropping in could cause some difficult feelings…
We yearn for feelings…
watching Netflix together as a group can be fun
Please don’t tell us the end of the story – it might hurt our feelings…
Playing games…. Nice feelings…
I’ll only let you know what I want you to know
But not the deep feelings
I know the deep ones are there but I don’t go there…
Sharing our experiences in life can be helpful…
How did you feel Nigel with all those expiation notices…
Unloading… telling the truth can lighten the load
Don’t want to offend or hurt anyone… so often don’t say
We may even put ourselves at risk – and yet we harm ourselves…
Perhaps it’s better to get it out…..
If you express something – perhaps start with ‘ I don’t want you to fix it or solve it… I just want to express it…’
Connection 26th October, 2020
We have connection! (from the hospital room!)
No internet… but we can still connect
Thanks Nigel… visiting with wifi.
It’s lovely to be able to connect with others
Being in hospital with no visitors, connecting on online is lovely
We need to connect
Connection means joining the dots…
And I didn’t –
Personal connections
Emotional connections
Good connections in relationships make a difference… friendships.
Internet connection is not great tonight
Connections are so important
So much happens in the connection
Safety, feeling appreciated, good for the soul,
It’s good for our health and wellbeing
We know someone is there for us and that feels good
Connection can be a realisation
The connection with yourself
When you meditate you can connect with yourself more
It can save you – discover something is not right
You can connect with your emotions
I connected with my anger – I got angry with myself- I got it out.
Reconnections and realisations
Sometime I feel a connection with others like a de Javi
Connections and nature
Facebook is meant to be about connections – and yet it doesn’t feel like connection
It’s a virtual world – it’s not real…
People are living in the virtual world taking up lots of the time of day…
It’s noise – a facade – it’s busy nonsense
Can we learn to connect on social media better?
The technology while it connects – has brought disconnection
It was nice to reconnect with dad after his passing
The roses were the connection to his death – a beautiful reminder
Connection With pets…
Dogs have a sense of connection – they know who to connect with and who you are
The dogs looked after the girls , she rounded up cows – she was beautiful
What is that connection?
It makes you feel good…
People go to Kays classes because they love the social connection
Social contagion – the natural spread of emotions – positive ones feel great
Covid separated us and the lack of connection caused lots of distress
Especially when there was no touching – cuddling grandchildren – we felt disconnected…
I like doing jigsaw puzzles because I like it when the pieces connect
So many connections with connections…
Angry 12th October 2020
We could have got angry over technology tonight
I get angry when technology doesn’t work
Kay is not angry – she just accepted the fact she couldn’t get on for tonight’s session
When things don’t turn out, I get angry
Perhaps frustration first then anger
What makes you angry?
Injustices
I don’t argue but I feel anger
I don’t show it but I feel it inside
I have been angry with my life
Now I don’t want to waste my time and life with anger
The journey to anger is frustration
With unnecessary rules, injustice,
Some drivers on the road, doing stupid things,
Now I see it differently – I don’t feel so angry
With serious things going on in the world its better to focus on things that need attention
Not silly things
I get angry when things are unfair
I try not to waste energy if I can’t control it
I now focus on the big picture –
I often shoot my mouth off in a spurt but then it dissipates…
Some people don’t get angry
They don’t notice others
They may not care…I get angry when people have to be right
With narcissists….
Anger is when people are bitter…
Mums cupboards full of blankets!
Men? I don’t know what makes me angry…
I don’t show my anger.
Tantrums some people do tantrums…
Can you control anger?
I go silent… I think about how to express it…
My daughter shouts… I leave it and once it calms down, I begin a conversation
Is it OK to feel anger
What is it?
It’s not the anger – it’s the expression of anger
Some Shout, hit, or are passive…
I’ve found to express it – how I feel – gets it out
If not it doesn’t go away…
Not the anger, the intensity… more about how it is shown
The face says it all
We are not taught how to express anger…
Kids are told to shut it downTo suppress it
We don’t know how to get it out – we are not encouraged to get it out
There are only 2 things fear and love
Any emotion comes back to love and fear…
Honesty is part of it…
We find it hard to be honest and express
Often we get shut down… and that stops it
Anger is Ok
It’s OK to be angry
Greta Thunberg could have said she was upset…
Instead she got up and showed she was angry
And that lead people to listen…
anger was channeled into an emotional statement that was received and made a difference…Let’s help our kids release the anger
In an effective way.
Tone can tell us the state of anger
Some people are sensitive to tone
A look
Can be threatening to someone else
Do we give people the space to be angry?
If it is imposed it is difficult…
If I don’t express my anger I just get sad
Sadness can lead to depression
We are meant to express
Watching someone watching the computer instead of communicating… makes me angry
Time wasting for me… Is relaxation for others… Perhaps I should change my attitude… it’s a difference in values
I could just join in…
Or jump on every screen in the house and then what???Great suggestion Gloria…
Often people say ‘don’t get angry with me’
To warn them, so that they are prepared…
Express your anger..
If you can’t take a tablet, just jump on one…
Another thank you to the group, sharing your views on
Vulnerability 5th October 2020Running through the back streets getting home when we were younger – we were vulnerable…
We had rules when we were younger to avoid being vulnerable…
A lot of people feel vulnerable walking down Hindley Street…
Why is it?
I feel vulnerable anywhere, why?
I don’t feel safe…
Is feeling vulnerable a good thing or not a good thing?
When I travel alone I feel vulnerable – safety is first…
It’s OK to feel vulnerable,
I felt vulnerable when I showed my grief about my dog. It showed others more about myself, how I truly felt.
Showing emotions can make us feel vulnerable…
Especially when we are being perceived as strong.
I don’t want to show emotions as I’d feel embarrassed…
I like to put on a brave face…
That may be how I was brought up…
When you are a creative it can bring vulnerability.
We may hide what is really happening…
People say get over things… so you don’t show what is really happening.
Vulnerability is actually putting yourself first… and being able to express it…
How nice to be able to say ‘I am missing my dog… and how I truly feel’
It’s nice to be able to trust someone to share…
Whether we like it or not we are vulnerable…
Showing it is not a weakness – it is a strength.
We are human, it’s OK to be scared and to say it.
Resilience is about hiding what you feel,
Vulnerability is sharing what is important to you
What kind of things can you be vulnerable about:
Health, we are all vulnerable with coronavirus
Financial
Identity
Physical
Psychological
EmotionalSharing can open up ideas and things that help and that can protect you also…
So look for your tribe who you feel safe with… are compassionate
nowadays we show our vulnerability to move away from perfection and the unachievable,
It’s important for children to see that teachers show they are infallible
For leaders, Daniel Andrews to admit his mistakes, showed he is infallible…
Let’s let go of the pretence, the facade,
When you share truthfully and express things, we actually get to know the real you.
You show the human side and that is heart warming
We are actually all the same…
In some way we are all vulnerable
I can see the vulnerability in others and that helps me with own vulnerability
Someone is always worse off than me…
Vulnerability our truth, being prepared to show it,
Thanks Nigel for the tour of Hindley Street, facing your vulnerabilities
Sometimes, we are pressured to uphold the expectations and show we perfect
It’s not even true…. on social media
Crafted impressions –
It’s an illusion – a delusion –
So who are we fooling?
No one can ever know what is real, when we don’t show what is real…
So why hide, why not showcase it as it is…
Perfect is the habit…
Better to admit the flaw the mistake?
Spend more time being true, authentic
Not showcasing everything…
Like running down Hindley Street naked. What?
The extreme…
Will you still like me?
What is that needing to be liked…
Our dreams may show us what we may fear… what we don’t want to show –
is it that we fear that others may not like us?
It may be an assumption that people won’t like things about us.
Is it true?
Letting it out, the real, can be part of freedom….
Authority 21st September 2020
Lesly gave me authority to get into her tablet on Saturday… A good way to start.
Authority definition:
The power to give orders, make decisions and enforce obedience…
that sounds harsh and archaic.Traditional authority
Charismatic authority – some say like Hitler, Jesus Napoleon (it may mean they get what they want because of their charisma – Oh dear… intention for good that might ok but if not, there’s disaster… )
Rational authority
Competence authorityThere’s a bit there to explore…
Command, control, power or how you can sway things…
Sway what…
Government have authority to lock people down during covid… a negative right.
It’s part of the constitutional right.
We give government this power and it can surface in emergencies…Authority feels top down
What does authority mean?It seems when someone is the expert
Sometimes in management they have responsibility and are held in account over, yet they haven’t been given the authorityUnder someone’s authority can feel harsh especially when you’re being micro managed…
Is it being in charge?
Or leading?Is authoritarian about my way or the highway…
We don’t want to have this approach as teachers.
is power necessary for authority…
power many be need to enforce authority,
By police, the armySometimes people power over but don’t have the authority
Someone with a gun…
It may not be right…
Having power can cause problems
when someone else wants the power…
It can create ill feelings –
If something is forced upon for the right reasons, is it about power? Or is it about something else?
if you have authority can you change how it looks and feels… so it is reflects your good intention
Perhaps you include and engage others to have them feel part of the authority
Sorry police officer, have I done something wrong?
Authority can make me feel that way…I might have authority but authority for what?
Depends on your role.
Author is the first part of the word…
I wonder where the ‘ity’ came from?Trump has the authority to push a button…
he hasn’t been give the authority by the world…This must be power not authority.
How do you feel when you say the word authority…
My first reaction when I see someone in uniform… the image of the uniform
Movies portrayed the uniform officer… as you’ve done something wrong
it doesn’t feel like caring…
Authorize.
We allow people to do something on someone’s behalf
You can be given authority
You can hand over authority…That’s about trust…
Aunty Lesly trusted me…Why?
Perhaps it’s the style…
Approach is relevant.
Can we be fooled by those who command authority that they have authority…
We may need to take more note of who we give authority to.
reputation can be affected
Wills… when you hand over authority it can bring out the worse in us…
Sometimes authority can bring the worst in us…
some abuse authorityit can be daunting…
It can be scary at timesThere is beautiful authority…
a good leader of authorityWhat was once authority can be seen as harassment – police could march kids home… not that would be harassment
No longer thank you to police…
no longer thank you to those enforcing the rules, our leaderTime has changed…
So who has the authority?
It can change a workplace, a city, a country, a world..
So don’t just hand it over…
Charity 14th September 2020
Charity begins at home
What does that mean?
Instead of giving to others
It’s about giving to yourselfOr it’s about learning it at home
Being kind at home first
Being generousCharity is about assisting those in need
Taking care of people close to youAnd taking care of you so you can care for others
Is charity about donations?
How are you charitable?
Helping others out,
With your time,
With your words
With services
Being a volunteerCharitable to be kind to others
Giving people your time
Everybody – especially with those who are often not listened toCharity is unconditional…
I gave time to my 90 year old Neighbourhood,
That is a true charitable action
For Nothing in return
From the heart,
Where people appreciateWhen it is from the heart it feels like true charity
Giving to your Neighbour
Let’s look after our Neighbours
It’s not just giving to a charity
It’s not just about the money
It’s kindness without any expectation in return
Often people don’t want charity
They prefer kindness
Is there a negative associated with charity, charities
Don’t use charities for an intention not from the heart –
Nigel is being charitable by showing us around Adelaide
It’s sad if a charity doesn’t give from the heart
Did you know that sometimes only 5% is given to the cause
Some charities get funding to do the work of government
Really?
Perhaps charities should feed the gap not be the service
Not tackle the big issues…
Charities for kindness rather than serving the role that is much needed by the community
Voluntarily giving help to those in need
How do you feel when you help?
I feel good to help and it gives me purpose
It’s mutual – no hierarchy – reciprocity
I’d rather say it’s two way
Reciprocal
Let’s reciprocateThis word has had a lot of attention tonight…
The feel good in the give and receive…
It’s easy to hand over money – yet the help is what is needed
The love of helping
The reward of feedback that someone is grateful and appreciative..
Kay’s ladies can now move better from the exercise – now that has made her smile – the give and receive
When you receive gratitude it keeps you giving
We will need more charitable acts after Covid as people will be in a struggle and maybe even traumatized
When you are kind, others see kindness, feel kindness and may even ripple kindness to others.
What you say and what you do, needs to be aligned
If there is a gap between the walk and talk, it doesn’t feel charitable – it doesn’t feel authentic
Connection
If there’s no connection it doesn’t feel like charity
Would you rather give or receive?
7th September 2020
PurposeTo be born and die…
To be part of the balance of the planet…
To evolve and thrive…
To go beyond survive…Purpose, is it more or less
than who we are
Than what we do
Than what we bringThe council has a purpose
Dog registration
They are not listening to what matters
Purpose or compassionWe all have a purpose
It’s important to repurpose
The purpose of life is a life of purposePeople bring gifts to others
Our pets can bring love and unite otherspurpose is to give love and to receive love
Especially in these times..When we miss someone, we realize our purpose is love
People want to have purpose
Covid has shown how people want to helpWith knit a care square, people want to help others keep warm
When we lose our purpose, then what…
Purpose can change…
Life situations can change our purpose…Some times our purpose is to help others
Sometimes our purpose is to keep things light
Like Nigel talking to the ducks…
Was it Donald and DaisyPurpose now to look forward to a better life
Purpose is to not look back…
find your purpose as you move forwardWhat we believe strongly brings purpose
Passion for something brings purpose
To use all of who we are, to bring to that to others – is our purpose
So what does purpose mean?
Sometimes we receive from what others bring – their purpose is for us, as our purpose is for them
Live your life on purpose – intentionally
Cause of death is being born…
we sometimes look too hard for our purpose
Rather than feel it and flow with lifeLife purpose changes
Now it is for a heart shaped world…
To bring love…I don’t like it when someone says… What is the purpose of your call?
It sounds quite calculated…
Takes away from softness… quite controlling and direct
Sometimes you have to ask what is the purpose when there are so many spam calls.
There the harshness may be needed.
Stating your purpose intention reason resolve determination objective rationale…
Tone can make a difference
Sometimes we over use the word
And the real meaning is lostOverusing the word purpose or other words, when used for everything – it doesn’t seem authentic
What words indicate purpose
When people give you the why… they are sharing their purpose
It’s internal its a feeling
You don’t need to explain to someone what your purpose isYou shine it naturally
others see it naturally
Others can see your purpose without you realizing that
Others can say that’s what you do, that’s what you bring, that’s how you shine…
Back to the point.. just what you bring
Others know what you bring… they can predict that behaviour because of how they see you, what they believe about you…
Is that an assumption? It may or may not be what you see as your purpose….
Your purpose your inner knowing
Live your life on purpose…
